36. Cool Blood

Adriana Tanese Nogueira

One day, the cool blood finally dawned back into his life. After days shut in an apartment with half-closed blinds, Antonio felt an inside switch, like the turning on of a lamp, and started reflecting.

    First of all, he thought, he was fighting for a good cause, a cause for which was worthy risking his life. Secondly, he had a gun and an excellent aim, thus he could rely on his self-defense ability. Thirdly, the police were brutal, but not well-organized. And, last but not least, a bullet in their chest would hit them as much as in his. They were even. How a logic train of thoughts was comforting to his mind. No more hiding and quivering.The fearful ones were usually the first to die.

    Antonio breathed deeply, silently nodding to himself while rehearsing his own reasoning. If that was his reality, it needed to be confronted without vacillation, being ready for whatever could happen. However, he had a weak point. What if he were caught by surprise? The unexpected element was his Achilles’ heel. Therefore, he should be constantly alert, for such a sudden shock would unleash panic, and with it paralysis of action and confusion of mind. Cool blood and cleverness had to be preserved. Without them, not even a powerful gun would be of any real use.

    He observed Maria. She was cooking. She lifted her eyes to check on the children. Antonio watched her calmness. He would have never imagine that a woman coming from a conservative family like hers, and with no experience on her own would have reacted in such an apparently composed way. Beyond her image of a housewife, he saw her under a new light.

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